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When Your Child Has a Passion

My 12 year old son loves to act. I originally signed him up for an acting class as a diversion when we moved to the Shenandoah Valley.  He was having a hard time adjusting to our new home and as he had always seemed to gravitate to the stage, I thought acting would be a good interest to help him adjust. Boy was I right. It is wonderful that he has found an interest that consumes him but as a single mom, it is sometimes hard to balance my need to make a living against his need to pursue his dream of becoming an actor.

I was always annoyed to see that all the most interesting and enriching camps seemed to be half days with no extended services.  I remember a radio camp when Daniel was eight that was walking distance from our house but the hours were 9 am to 3 pm. I ended up going in late on those days and arranging for his father to leave his job early so Daniel could attend.

The problem is compounded for parents with more then one child.  I had a friend who had to make her sons take turns being in a sport. She just could not handle the schedule for more then one sport at a time. I know moms who don’t let their children do any extra curricular activities because they are too stressed out just handling the day to day stuff.

So what is a parent to do? Should we encourage our children’s interests?  Can we let them be in a play or play on a sports team?  The answer is an obvious “Yes” but the it is not a simple “yes”.

First off, it is not just your problem.  Many parents (even married ones) face the same dilemmas and you can usually work out transportation arrangements that help with the burden.  It really does “take a village” and we all need our friends. It is amazing how many good and dear friends I have made originally because our children were in something together.  Don’t assume your child can not be in an event just because you don’t have a flexible work situation.

Secondly, let your child be part of the solution.  When my son was cast in a demanding play with lots of far away rehearsals, I got some concessions from him on household chores and school work. We do not want to over-pressure our kids but we do want to teach them about making choices and about being willing to make sacrifices for worthwhile pay offs. When my son is in a show with a demanding rehearsal schedule, it is not just a matter of getting him there and scheduling time for school work. It effects every aspect of our lives from dinner time to laundry. It is important for him to share in the burden too.

It is not fair that single mom’s and working moms bear so much of the burden for our children’s development but it is nothing new.

Before you say “no” to a sports team or pottery class, try to think outside the box on how you can make it happen.  Ask your child for ideas and ask your friends for help. After all, we are all in this together and we as a society benefit from having lively, fulfilled and interesting kids.

Please contact me if you would like to share your story. jeanner@shentel.net Subject: www.stressandthesinglemom.com – stories.

- by Jeanne Russell
(c) Jeanne Russell - All Rights reserved =====================================

 -- Jeanne Russell is a mother writer and entrepreneur, She is founder of www.jeannerussell.com ( a website devoted to self-improvement and success) and also www.stressandthesinglemom.com

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